When I first heard this song I related in so many ways, I was actually dealing with a breakup and very much relating to the lyrics "I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver." "Sometimes revenge is a choice you gotta make" etc. You can read all about that here.
Anyway.. my mom was battling with her reactions and advice to me. She battled between what she should say - as her responsibility as a mother and what she thought and felt. Because I am my mother's daughter.. I completely understood. I was battling between how I wanted to react and how I knew what I should do. On the one hand I was confused, embarrassed sad, let down, depressed etc. On the other hand I was furious, Lorena Bobbitt -furious. I wanted to destroy him and at one point..I called my mom and said, "I'm going to jail, be ready to bail me out please." "WHAT? WHY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" She quickly asked. "I'm going over to his house.. shit hit the fan and well, he lied. He has some explaining to do..and begging." "Sam, DO NOT do anything stupid..it's not worth it, that racist-momma's boy-asshole isn't worth it. Can't you just wait a month or two and key his car in a parking lot..so no one will suspect you?" she says. If that little conversation could sum up the motherly advice and her true disdain for men who hurt me/crazy bitter old woman advice, it would be that one.
Overreaction? Yes, but you know what they say, ...bitches be crazy, well that and "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and shit, was I scorned. Well, that was all in the past and I'm over it now - but while spending some time with my mom over the holiday we were talking about that moment and how I have been doing lately, as far as dating new guys and what not. I realized that the struggle between my mom's advice is pretty ridiculous. She'll go from saying something like, "go out for drinks, rebound" to "go get one drink..but just one, don't get sloppy" to "you know, you are young and there will be other men." etc.
So after the holiday and having this song just come on my shuffle I've decided to put together the most memorable "how to deal with a break-up" checklist by my mother.
- take a day to be really sad. Then stop making yourself sick by crying - get out, do stuff, call a friend.
- get a hair cut, color your hair - do something for you that makes you feel beautiful.
- pedicures never hurt.
- kick him in the balls
- do not answer his calls or reply to his messages
- delete him from everything
- go get a drink - but not too many, don't get sloppy
- if you must have revenge, wait a month then key his car in a parking lot so no one will suspect you
- does he have cute friends? ....
- go to the gym, you always want to look better than him.
- don't forget to eat. keep yourself healthy
- don't dwell on what you can't change. It does you no good to keep thinking of how it happened or what would have happened if it went a different way. He's an ass, not worth it and you're better off.
- don't overload your friends, don't be that girl.
- go on a date or two but don't jump into a relationship
- don't hate all men because this one sucked.
- stay strong, but there is no shame in being sad
- for the love of God, don't call him drunk.
- sleep in the middle of your bed
- imagine that look of fear he had when you showed up "hahahaha" and laugh about it.
Well, that is what I can remember. Pearls, aren't they?
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